NEWFOUNDLAND 911

"Hello, is this the RCMP?"

"Yes. How may I help you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Mike

Fitzpatrick! He's

hiding drugs inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the RCMP SWAT team officers descended

on Mike's house. They searched  the shed where the

firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open

every piece of wood, but found no drugs.

They swore at Mike, he swore at them, and then they

left.  The next day, the phone rang at Mike's

house...

"Hey, Mike! Did the RCMP come to your house?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, buddy."